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My partners are the complete opposite of my prayers :: Mmegi Online

DEAR ANONYMOUS

Life is generally divided into six areas; emotional, social, financial, intellectual, physical and spiritual. When the parties are compatible or nearly compatible in these six areas, the relationship is more likely to succeed even if the parties were to marry. It should be emphasized that compatibility is not a given that the relationship will flourish, it is just a predictor that romance has a higher probability of success. Moreover, no matter how compatible lovers are in all walks of life, there will always be incompatibilities between them; incompatibilities arising from their own individual uniqueness and gender.

Emotional intelligence speaks of an individual’s ability to discern and process their emotions constructively. When the level of emotional intelligence of the parties is at par, they are able to amicably resolve conflicts and differences in their relationships. This doesn’t rule out the possibility of heated arguments or sometimes emotionally charged days, it just means that despite all this conflict in this type of relationship helps the parties get to know and understand each other better. When there is a greater level of emotional disparity in the relationship, it can cause unnecessary conflict, as our level of emotional intelligence largely influences our day-to-day choices. Emotional intelligence is generally not taught within the confines of a classroom unless one is training for a course in this specialty area. One can be born with greater emotional intelligence. On the one hand, another may not be naturally endowed with emotional intelligence but develop it through self-education.

As discussed in my earlier article on different personality types, some people are naturally energized by social interaction and have a greater need for friendships and socializing, while others are energized by loneliness and need less time. social interactions or friendships in general. In some cases, social polar opposites attract. In such a case, the parties would have to compromise on each other’s individual needs for solitude and social interaction in order for the relationship to work. In some cases, although the relationship may never work out, the part with less need for social interactions may constantly feel insecure about their lover’s myriad interactions with their friends or the general public. The socially active part may also become bored around their solitary partner who lavishes in solitude.

Our intellectual constitution depicts our thirst and desire to learn. Some people are perpetual students and always intellectually energetic. Our intellectual constitution is independent of formal education. One can be formally educated but show no interest in reading after college. Another may be formally educated but used to reading in their many other areas of interest after college, even if they don’t earn another degree. On the one hand, one may lack a college degree but be in the habit of consciously reading, listening to, or watching various educational content for personal development and enjoyment. Where intellectual opposites (i.e., one with an unquenchable intellectual hunger and another with minimal or no intellectual curiosity), the parties may continually feel bored and ignored in each other’s presence. . The hungry intellectual partner may crave intellectually stimulating conversations while the non-philosophical partner may have nothing to offer in this area and feel bored by such conversations. The intellectual learns, understands and sees life mainly through the prism of research, while the non-intellectual learns, understands and sees life mainly through the prism of social interactions. For scholars, social interactions are a secondary form of learning and can help them better understand their primary learning method of research. As for non-intellectuals, research is rarely or never a secondary method of learning for them. Where intellectual opposites (i.e., one with an unquenchable intellectual hunger and another with minimal or no intellectual curiosity), the parties may continually feel bored and ignored in each other’s presence. . The hungry intellectual partner may crave intellectually stimulating conversations while the non-philosophical partner may have nothing to offer in this area and feel bored by such conversations.

Conversely, the non-intellectual or less-intellectual partner may crave conversations that don’t border on the intellect with their loved one. A relationship between two compatible intellectuals in all other areas of life can most likely be very fulfilling as the parties will naturally enjoy each other’s company; the same eventuality would occur in a union between non/less intellectual partners. Gross intellectual disparities create a gap in the relationship and when both parties do not have friends or associates who can fill that gap, the relationship can eventually die. However, relationships between highly intellectual and non-intellectual individuals can thrive in interesting ways because the parties can balance each other’s ways of learning and understanding the world. Our intellectual constitution mainly determines our level and style of reasoning.

Financial intelligence testifies to a person’s effectiveness in managing and managing their finances. Most courses do not train graduates on this type of intelligence. Therefore, this type of intelligence is most often self-taught if not naturally inherited. The financial prospects of the parties influence decisions in their relationship. One can be a risk taker and an entrepreneur while the other likes to play it safe and fears a challenge.

We all naturally have different spending habits. Some are impulsive spenders while others are more disciplined spenders. Distinct individual financial patterns in a relationship can lead to disharmony if the parties fail to find a “financial meeting of minds”. Said meeting of minds may involve either tolerating each other’s spending habits or finding financial common ground in the best interests of the union. Economic dissension and misappropriation in a marriage is sometimes the ax that grinds the relationship to a mush eventually resulting in divorce.

Spirituality connotes what governs our beliefs in general. Some people believe that there is a higher being who must be worshipped; a superior being who created and rules the universe. The concept of Higher Being is present in almost all the religions of the world. Although most religions around the world share some commonalities, they also have some surprising differences. Some religions believe that a woman was created only for procreation and family life. Others believe in a woman’s abilities beyond procreation and family life. When parties with conflicting belief systems marry, there will most likely be chaos in the relationship. The level of disharmony would be determined by the depth and duration of each party’s beliefs. When their beliefs are not anchored, despite a different religious system, it may be easier for them to find a compromise or to turn away to the religion of the other.

Conversely, certain classes of people do not believe in the existence of any Higher Being.

Physical attraction refers to our natural inclination to be attracted to men/women of a certain physique or certain physical characteristics. It also discusses the sexual compatibility between the parties. When the parties’ erotic appetite is at par, the relationship will most likely prosper if they are compatible in many other areas. However, if they are not, they can collapse or give rise to other problems. Some scholars argue that where the sexual lust of the parties is opposite, the parties should find sexual common ground. Other researchers suggest that in such cases, the one with lower libido should do exercises like sex yoga or take natural stimulants to increase their libido to match that of their partner. It’s up to each couple to decide what works best for them within the parameters of common sense and reasonableness.

In conclusion, perhaps if you make your specific prayers in light of the aforementioned areas of life rather than simply abdicating the responsibility of choosing your dream partner to God, you will have a better chance of attracting and identify your favorite partner at the right time. . Gaone Monau is a lawyer and motivational speaker in the areas of confidence building, stress management, relationships, self-discovery, gender-based violence and other specific areas of law. For reservations, motivational interviews, questions or comments on the aforementioned areas, contact +26774542732 or [email protected] His Facebook page is Be Motivated with Gaone. She will host a webinar on Microsoft Teams; Dates Friday June 3, 2022, Saturday June 4, 2022 & Sunday June 5, 2022 from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. – 30 p.m. Are you losing relationships because you’re too clingy? Do you keep attracting the same type of toxic partners into different bodies? Do you want a healthy relationship with a reasonable partner? If your answer is yes, register for our webinar on; Attachment Styles and Compatibility in a Relationship, The Emotional Abuse Law in Botswana; Legal Remedies for Emotional Abuse in Botswana; non-judicial remedies for psychological violence; Habits that promote healthy romantic relationships; The registration fee for attending a webinar on any of the three dates stipulated above is 1,500 pesos per person. For more information email [email protected] or contact 74542732.