FOR those who have lost a parent, Father’s Day can be a difficult time.
The tragic loss of life suffered due to the coronavirus pandemic has meant that many people will have to spend the celebration without their father by their side.
Bianca Neumann, bereavement manager at the Sue Ryder charity, said that it’s important to deal with your emotions on this day, you shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself to feel a certain way.
Speaking to The Sun, she said Father’s Day can spark a whole host of emotions.
“Many customers have told me that they avoid supermarkets and stores on special occasions like Father’s Day because they don’t want to see all the aisles filled with cards, chocolates and gifts,” a- she declared.
Bianca revealed the six ways you can cope with grief today.
1. Talk about your father
While everyone does differently, Bianca said one way to get through Father’s Day is to talk about your dad.
She explained, “Grief can be very isolating, but it’s likely that other people around you will also feel the loss of your father or have gone through a similar situation.
“Talk about your father with others, light a candle in his memory, or do something with a loved one that reminds you of him.”
2. Focus on the time spent
Father’s Day can be a great time to remember some of the good times you shared with your dad.
For some people, looking back can elicit negative feelings, but Bianca said it’s important to try and turn that experience into a positive one.
“The loss can often lead to feelings of regret. For example, you might think you could have spent more time with your dad.
“Instead, try to focus on the time you had and how special it was for you and your dad,” she said.
3. Write a letter
A lot of people find it hard to express their feelings, one way to do that is to write a letter, says Bianca.
“Sometimes expressing our feelings on paper can help us process the complex emotions we are feeling.
“Writing a letter to his father may sound strange, but it’s a way to validate his emotions and to feel closer to him, even if he’s not here with you,” she said.
4. Find a support group
The coronavirus pandemic has made it difficult to meet in person, which also means that many people have not had access to support groups.
Thanks to technology, many groups have formed online. Bianca says that finding a group that shares your feelings could help you cope and feel less alone.
She said, “When you are grieving, you can find comfort in talking to others in a similar position.
“It could be a friend who has also lost a relative, or you could consider joining a support group, like Sue Ryder Online Grieving Community, where you will find that many other people have exactly the same feelings as you.
5. Don’t be ashamed
There is no shame in feeling upset on Father’s Day, just like there is no shame in feeling angry or frustrated that you no longer have your dad around.
Bianca said: “When it comes to losing a parent, feelings of jealousy, envy, anger as well as sadness are very common, but not everyone talks openly about it.
“These feelings are often put aside and the remaining feeling is one of guilt or shame, because an inner voice calls these feelings ‘bad’ when they are normal.
“Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be ‘OK’.
“Emotions come and go and like waves they can overwhelm us and seem overwhelming. Allow yourself to feel and experience your grief and know that over time the waves will eventually wear off.”
6. Ignore the day completely
Social media and promotional emails make it pretty hard to ignore Father’s Day.
But many companies now offer a “turn off” button, so you no longer receive emails about Father’s Day cards and gifts.
Bianca said if you have a hard time thinking about Father’s Day, you can ignore it altogether.
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“Take a day out on social media and do things that make you happy – maybe cook, watch a Netflix show, go for a walk, or just have a lazy day,” she added.
Bianca added: “Finally, if someone you know is mourning the loss of their parent on this Father’s Day, be sure to check back – people can have a hard time reaching out when they are in mourning.
“Maybe you can send a care card or package of their favorite things – maybe a mix of snacks for when they’re not feeling ready for cooking, flowers, or a game they could play for themselves. loosen.”
To learn more about Sue Ryder’s bereavement online support, visit sueryder.org/copingwithgrief